The Invisible Energy Cost of Being a Mum With hEDS, POTS and MCAS
I did an Instagram Live recently with another mum who also has hEDS, POTS and MCAS.
It made me realise I really don’t talk about this enough.
Because being a mum is already a lot.
There is the mental load.
Daycare and kinder days. Appointments. Lunch boxes. Groceries. Clothes. Birthdays. Who needs what. Where everyone needs to be.
Then there is the physical load.
Carrying kids. Getting up and down off the floor. Lifting them into the car. Bath time. Washing. Cleaning. Standing in the kitchen. Playgrounds. Broken sleep.
And then you add hEDS or hypermobility, POTS and MCAS on top.
The Invisible Illness Load
This is the bit I don’t think people really understand unless they live in a body like this.
You are doing all the normal mum things.
But you are also dealing with pain, dizziness, exhaustion, brain fog, reactivity and gut symptoms.
And sometimes your body just decides it has had enough.
There is also this constant calculation going on in the background.
Can I carry them right now?
Have I had enough fluids?
How long have I been standing?
Do I need to sit down?
If we do this now, am I going to wreck myself before dinner and bedtime?
That is the invisible load.
Letting go of a lot of guilt has helped. So has accepting that this load exists.
I don’t have to do everything exactly the same way every day.
What Helps Me Manage mum life and Hypermobile EDS
Nothing complicated.
These are the three things that make the biggest difference for me.
Sit Down Whenever You Can
If I can do something sitting, I sit.
Getting the kids dressed. Playing. Folding washing. Doing something in the kitchen.
I don’t need to wait until I am completely wrecked before I sit down.
Make Fluids and Electrolytes Easy
If I have to remember to drink while also remembering everything for everyone else, chances are I will forget.
So I make it easy.
Fluids nearby at all times. Multiple bottles. electrolytes in my bag and the nappy bag. Spare empty water bottles in the car.
You get the idea, something in my face at all times.
Balance Bigger Days With More Rest
Some days I can do more than others, and that is okay.
If we have something bigger planned, I try not to stack heaps around it.
More rest. Fewer big activities. A bit more breathing room in the day.
Accepting that has helped me find a much better balance.
It is not about doing less all the time. It is about knowing what my body can handle and working with that instead of fighting it.
Click here to read why your nervous is the missing piece in supporting juggling it all.
Final Thoughts
I can do the things I want to do with my kids. I just need to do them in a way that works for me.
We need to take some of the guilt out of needing more rest, changing the plan or doing things differently.
Because none of that makes you less of a mum.
Want support to balance mum life with your exhaustion, pain, dizziness or reactivity?
Book your individual consult with me HERE
Click HERE to go to back to other blog posts on strategies for hypermobility, POTS and MCAS